Separation
Last night I met some very wonderful and special people I'd never met. Young ones (13, 15, 16). Their parents are going through a divorce right now and they've been away from their dad for a few weeks. I mentioned their dad's name about an hour into the evening, and though the whole night had, to that point, been filled with laughter and love, I saw immense pain immediately flash through all of their eyes as they looked at each other quickly in acknowledgment of some inside information they shared but said nothing. It was only one second and then it was gone, but it was crushing. My parents aren't divorced and have never been separated and though many of my close friends have had parents divorce, it had either happened before I became friends with them or while I was in college. In other words, I never witnessed firsthand the effects. But watching these three innocents, these three sweet little human beings, bear the burden of that pain...oh man. absolutely heart breaking.
I silently vowed to myself that when I get married it will be eternal.
I know...I know...no guarantees. But I would do anything to shield my loved ones from that moment of searing pain which I know only represents a sliver of what they're actually enduring.
This last month I became somewhat estranged from a close friend of mine. It all started so small, too. A snub to a lunch invite. Some thoughtless remarks. And then it just started to snowball and escalate to the point where I felt extremely uncomfortable just being around her. Someone I had loved immensely and confided in so completely just weeks before. One night I found myself sitting on my bed wondering HOW it had gotten this bad so quickly over such PETTY things. I knew I could keep contributing to the cold war that was taking place or I could make the first move towards conciliation. To be perfectly honest, that lower, animal part of me wanted the cold war. My ego was bruised and I didn't want to swallow my pride. But I kept thinking...this is not what Baha'u'llah wants...He came for unity...how can I allow this to keep happening?? So I said many prayers for Him to make me sincere, give me back that love for this person, and help me to fight my ego. Anyway, things are looking up. We're definitely not back to what we were, and I don't know that we ever will be. But the cold war is over and we're starting to become a little close again.
Anyway seeing these kids last night made me think about how even something as drastic as divorce I bet OFTEN happens because of small things...starts with something small that just snowballs until both parties are so mad at each other that they just can't swallow it. My own teeny experience was a wake up call that you have to address things right away or else they just...fester.
Why are we--human beings-- so fragile and so stubborn? Creatures made to love one another, to be kind and united, to work together, so easily giving up on each other? It's no bueno.
I silently vowed to myself that when I get married it will be eternal.
I know...I know...no guarantees. But I would do anything to shield my loved ones from that moment of searing pain which I know only represents a sliver of what they're actually enduring.
This last month I became somewhat estranged from a close friend of mine. It all started so small, too. A snub to a lunch invite. Some thoughtless remarks. And then it just started to snowball and escalate to the point where I felt extremely uncomfortable just being around her. Someone I had loved immensely and confided in so completely just weeks before. One night I found myself sitting on my bed wondering HOW it had gotten this bad so quickly over such PETTY things. I knew I could keep contributing to the cold war that was taking place or I could make the first move towards conciliation. To be perfectly honest, that lower, animal part of me wanted the cold war. My ego was bruised and I didn't want to swallow my pride. But I kept thinking...this is not what Baha'u'llah wants...He came for unity...how can I allow this to keep happening?? So I said many prayers for Him to make me sincere, give me back that love for this person, and help me to fight my ego. Anyway, things are looking up. We're definitely not back to what we were, and I don't know that we ever will be. But the cold war is over and we're starting to become a little close again.
Anyway seeing these kids last night made me think about how even something as drastic as divorce I bet OFTEN happens because of small things...starts with something small that just snowballs until both parties are so mad at each other that they just can't swallow it. My own teeny experience was a wake up call that you have to address things right away or else they just...fester.
Why are we--human beings-- so fragile and so stubborn? Creatures made to love one another, to be kind and united, to work together, so easily giving up on each other? It's no bueno.
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