A year full of flowers
Though it included two personally painful experiences, and it felt like the world was collapsing in many ways, 2018 has been one of the happiest, most rewarding of my life.
While God is certainly the Most Generous, and all good comes from Him, I have given some thought to why this year may have been so uniquely joyful even in the face of loss, regret, and unexpected change (unwelcome at the time). While I can't of course be certain, I can say one thing that was different in 2018 is that I prayed like I've never prayed before.
One day in March, when I was visiting my dad in Puerto Rico, and experiencing 1 of the 2 lows, I was quietly thinking to myself that I needed to make a change. Something was off in my life and I wasn't sure what it was. I didn't mention this to my father. We were watching a tv show together, and he suddenly pressed pause, and out of the blue said, "You know, Nava, I remember once hearing that Collis Featherstone said if the Baha'is only knew how much power there was in the special tablets revealed by Baha'u'llah, as well as the Long Obligatory prayer and the Long Healing prayer, and said them every day, it would transform their lives."
"Daddy, why did you just share that with me?"
"I don't know. I just thought of it."
I knew I had to say them. This message was for me. I committed myself to saying 7 special prayers every morning until my life was transformed. I didn't know what the transformation would look like but I knew it would come.
And it did come.
First it came in the form of pain. At one point my heart was so tender from all the shredding it was being subjected to, I didn't know how I would ever recover. I realized that the Long Healing prayer was doing exactly what it was meant to. It was showing me where I was weak and it was forcing me to turn my whole heart to God for healing.
Then it came in the form of flowers.
The flowers of friendship, of laughter, of love, of family, of faith, of travel, of seeing and hearing with new eyes and new ears. It came in a love for God I'd never experienced with such intensity. In a longing to be near Him that nothing but pilgrimage could come close to satisfying. It came in the replacement of anxiety with trust, doubt with confidence, restlessness with action. It came in the form of boundless generosity from friends and loved ones who showered me with spiritual gifts this year the likes of which I've never received before. It came with the opening of a new path that's so exciting, my heart rushes just thinking about it.
I do want to share two practical things that I think were the outcome of intense prayer. One is that the prayers removed many veils that had obscured my understanding of myself and an entire area of life. Actually, many areas came into very sharp focus. The other, and the sweeter of the two, is that it unlocked a place in my heart I think had always been closed. It was frightening to have it open. I felt vulnerable and exposed...to God! As if He didn't already know. As if it weren't more clear to Him than ever it will be to me. Yet, it happened and I became aware of it...but that place that opened was connected to dreams. Dreams I'd silently whispered as a child and had long forgotten as an adult. A little seed planted in such a remote corner of my being, receiving such little care and sunlight, only these prayers could have helped this seed to flower.
I have come to know that sorrow and joy are intimately connected. That often our greatest losses carve out the space for our greatest gains. But I can also say, with tremendous gratitude (and relief) that in 2018 the joy far outweighed the sorrow.
I will always be grateful for my year full of flowers.
-----
Here, two newly translated prayers that have been giving my heart ecstasy this year!
He is the All-Glorious!
Praise be to Thee, O my God! Thou didst call me, and I answered Thee. Thou didst summon me, and I hastened unto Thee, entering beneath the shade of Thy mercy and seeking shelter at the threshold of the door of Thy grace. Thou hast nurtured me, O Lord, through Thy providence, chosen me for Thee alone, created me for Thy service, and appointed me to stand before Thee. I beseech Thee, by Thine all-glorious Name and by Thy beauty that hath dawned above the horizon of Thy most exalted Essence, to cause me to be related to Thee even as Thou hadst done so aforetime, and not to separate me from Thyself. Cause then to appear from me, O my God, that which is worthy of Thee. Thou art, in truth, powerful over all things.
—Bahá’u’lláh
O Thou Lord of wondrous grace!
Bestow upon us new blessings. Give to us the freshness of the spring. We are saplings which have been planted by the fingers of Thy bounty and have been formed out of the water and clay of Thy tender affection. We thirst for the living waters of Thy favours and are dependent upon the outpourings of the clouds of Thy generosity. Abandon not to itself this grove wherein our hopes aspire, nor withhold therefrom the showers of Thy loving-kindness. Grant that from the clouds of Thy mercy may fall copious rain so that the trees of our lives may bring forth fruit and we may attain the most cherished desire of our hearts.
—‘Abdu’l-Bahá
While God is certainly the Most Generous, and all good comes from Him, I have given some thought to why this year may have been so uniquely joyful even in the face of loss, regret, and unexpected change (unwelcome at the time). While I can't of course be certain, I can say one thing that was different in 2018 is that I prayed like I've never prayed before.
One day in March, when I was visiting my dad in Puerto Rico, and experiencing 1 of the 2 lows, I was quietly thinking to myself that I needed to make a change. Something was off in my life and I wasn't sure what it was. I didn't mention this to my father. We were watching a tv show together, and he suddenly pressed pause, and out of the blue said, "You know, Nava, I remember once hearing that Collis Featherstone said if the Baha'is only knew how much power there was in the special tablets revealed by Baha'u'llah, as well as the Long Obligatory prayer and the Long Healing prayer, and said them every day, it would transform their lives."
"Daddy, why did you just share that with me?"
"I don't know. I just thought of it."
I knew I had to say them. This message was for me. I committed myself to saying 7 special prayers every morning until my life was transformed. I didn't know what the transformation would look like but I knew it would come.
And it did come.
First it came in the form of pain. At one point my heart was so tender from all the shredding it was being subjected to, I didn't know how I would ever recover. I realized that the Long Healing prayer was doing exactly what it was meant to. It was showing me where I was weak and it was forcing me to turn my whole heart to God for healing.
Then it came in the form of flowers.
The flowers of friendship, of laughter, of love, of family, of faith, of travel, of seeing and hearing with new eyes and new ears. It came in a love for God I'd never experienced with such intensity. In a longing to be near Him that nothing but pilgrimage could come close to satisfying. It came in the replacement of anxiety with trust, doubt with confidence, restlessness with action. It came in the form of boundless generosity from friends and loved ones who showered me with spiritual gifts this year the likes of which I've never received before. It came with the opening of a new path that's so exciting, my heart rushes just thinking about it.
I do want to share two practical things that I think were the outcome of intense prayer. One is that the prayers removed many veils that had obscured my understanding of myself and an entire area of life. Actually, many areas came into very sharp focus. The other, and the sweeter of the two, is that it unlocked a place in my heart I think had always been closed. It was frightening to have it open. I felt vulnerable and exposed...to God! As if He didn't already know. As if it weren't more clear to Him than ever it will be to me. Yet, it happened and I became aware of it...but that place that opened was connected to dreams. Dreams I'd silently whispered as a child and had long forgotten as an adult. A little seed planted in such a remote corner of my being, receiving such little care and sunlight, only these prayers could have helped this seed to flower.
I have come to know that sorrow and joy are intimately connected. That often our greatest losses carve out the space for our greatest gains. But I can also say, with tremendous gratitude (and relief) that in 2018 the joy far outweighed the sorrow.
I will always be grateful for my year full of flowers.
-----
Here, two newly translated prayers that have been giving my heart ecstasy this year!
He is the All-Glorious!
Praise be to Thee, O my God! Thou didst call me, and I answered Thee. Thou didst summon me, and I hastened unto Thee, entering beneath the shade of Thy mercy and seeking shelter at the threshold of the door of Thy grace. Thou hast nurtured me, O Lord, through Thy providence, chosen me for Thee alone, created me for Thy service, and appointed me to stand before Thee. I beseech Thee, by Thine all-glorious Name and by Thy beauty that hath dawned above the horizon of Thy most exalted Essence, to cause me to be related to Thee even as Thou hadst done so aforetime, and not to separate me from Thyself. Cause then to appear from me, O my God, that which is worthy of Thee. Thou art, in truth, powerful over all things.
—Bahá’u’lláh
O Thou Lord of wondrous grace!
Bestow upon us new blessings. Give to us the freshness of the spring. We are saplings which have been planted by the fingers of Thy bounty and have been formed out of the water and clay of Thy tender affection. We thirst for the living waters of Thy favours and are dependent upon the outpourings of the clouds of Thy generosity. Abandon not to itself this grove wherein our hopes aspire, nor withhold therefrom the showers of Thy loving-kindness. Grant that from the clouds of Thy mercy may fall copious rain so that the trees of our lives may bring forth fruit and we may attain the most cherished desire of our hearts.
—‘Abdu’l-Bahá
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