we stand by each other
This week I feel like I've really had a lot of time to reflect on this idea of "good" and "bad" and black and white. More and more I am struck by how little in life is rigidly one thing or another. Most people don't fall neatly into categories like good or bad. Those words aren't even adequate to describe the actions they often attempt to. I think bad can often be replaced by weak. This isn't to say that nothing is bad. Somethings are wrong and it is as simple as that. A man locking his daughter up in a celler for 24 years and raping her every day, for instinace, is simply wrong. There's no other way around it. But in general, I dont think things play out that way.
We all struggle with things. We're all terribly weak and imperfect. And yet we're all beautifully capable of SO MUCH strength.
And even the way we define strong and weak is so inconsistent....for instance, the wife who chooses to stay by her husband after he cheats on her repeatedly. So many people would view that woman as weak. But I think that woman is so strong. I dont think I could do it, but I would never label her weak. The pain you would endure, the sleepless nights, the feelings of rejection. It's hard to imagine and I hope I'll never experience it. But maybe that woman still sees so much good in her husband, recognizes this weakness in him but chooses to stand by him anyway. Encourage him to change. To me, that takes courage and strength.
On the other hand, I've also learned a lot about people rising above their circumstances, not making excuses for themselves. I recently learned that someone I'd known for a while who I would consider a really open, warm, loving person, very morally upright, grew up in very difficult circumstances. Abusive father. A mother with very serious mental health issues. Some other very very hard things. But he doesnt moan about it. He's one of the most optimistic people. So friendly and smiling all the time. Genuinely kind and interested in the well-being of others. People like that just blow my mind. An example of the beautiful strength we're all capable of.
And more than anything I've been struck by the need for us to just stop judging each other. You never know what someone has dealt with. You never know how you will deal with something. No one knows what his own end will be, not a single one of us. So we should just support each other, encourage each other, help each other overcome our vices and challenges, and really love one another.
I know this all comes off as cheesy but it's been on my mind a lot this week. Lots of really great conversations with some very special people.
We all struggle with things. We're all terribly weak and imperfect. And yet we're all beautifully capable of SO MUCH strength.
And even the way we define strong and weak is so inconsistent....for instance, the wife who chooses to stay by her husband after he cheats on her repeatedly. So many people would view that woman as weak. But I think that woman is so strong. I dont think I could do it, but I would never label her weak. The pain you would endure, the sleepless nights, the feelings of rejection. It's hard to imagine and I hope I'll never experience it. But maybe that woman still sees so much good in her husband, recognizes this weakness in him but chooses to stand by him anyway. Encourage him to change. To me, that takes courage and strength.
On the other hand, I've also learned a lot about people rising above their circumstances, not making excuses for themselves. I recently learned that someone I'd known for a while who I would consider a really open, warm, loving person, very morally upright, grew up in very difficult circumstances. Abusive father. A mother with very serious mental health issues. Some other very very hard things. But he doesnt moan about it. He's one of the most optimistic people. So friendly and smiling all the time. Genuinely kind and interested in the well-being of others. People like that just blow my mind. An example of the beautiful strength we're all capable of.
And more than anything I've been struck by the need for us to just stop judging each other. You never know what someone has dealt with. You never know how you will deal with something. No one knows what his own end will be, not a single one of us. So we should just support each other, encourage each other, help each other overcome our vices and challenges, and really love one another.
I know this all comes off as cheesy but it's been on my mind a lot this week. Lots of really great conversations with some very special people.
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