Reflections on a year
Yesterday marked my one year anniversary in the Holy Land. Everyone asks me if it flew by. Yes and no.
Time always seems to fly. I perpetually find myself thinking, "really, over already?" And I was warned that time here seemed to move at a different rhythm, a faster tempo.
But, I have to say, for me it was both. Sometimes I think back to my life before I came, who I was, my habits, and I feel like two different, very distinct, people. So, here are some reflections from time here. Things I've learned.
1) Simple is grand. Change happens gradually. Sometimes we expect these huge, cataclysmic things to happen to effect change. Sometimes that's what it takes. But I think, for the most part, it starts with something small. Small but consistent. A break from old patterns. As my good friend Ryann pointed out to me recently, sometimes all it takes is one small change in behavior to break out of patterns we've had our entire lives.
2) Riding camels is less fun than it looks--and I don't even think it looks that fun! Unbelievably boring, actually, once you get over the initial 30 second high from trying something different.
3) The Dead Sea feels like a giant pool of baby oil.
4) The source of all good is trust in God. This is the first line in the Tablet of Wisdom. I don't think I ever really understood it until I came here. I still don't fully get it. But I'm walking the path. I was meditating over what I thought my biggest test has been while I've been here--my area of greatest weakness. Several candidates. Detachment, for sure. True humility. Discipline. Courage. Courage sitting atop this list. But I realized the one that trumped them all was trust in God. I've often used the excuse that "I trust Him, I just don't trust myself." But I realize it's just that, an excuse. If I really trusted Him, I would let go of my own fears and insecurities and trust that His will would prevail, and the outcome would be the right one, even if not the one I anticipated. And if I had more trust in God, I would have the courage I often lack. Detachment from my own feeble plans and ideas.
5) My family is amazing. I always knew this but I know it even more now. My sister and parents have supported me so much, have been so close to me though thousands of miles away, have encouraged me, not judged me, even when they might have made different decisions in certain situations, and have been my rock through some of the more trying times. My family is...amazing.
6) I would be lost without my friends. If trust in God was the number one thing I learned, true friendship was the second. What it means to have true friends and what it means to be one. I could write tomes on each of my friends, and what makes them special, selfless, and gem-like. I will instead say simply, thank you. You know why. The many many many reasons why.
7) Life is good. Life is hard but life is good.
8) I think more clearly outside, in nature.
9) I connect more deeply to God and my spiritual self when I'm singing sacred verses. That's when I feel it the most:)
10) We are the stories we tell. I've heard it so many times. My mentor teacher would repeat this sentence to me all the time. I guess she saw something, a weakness in me, I didn't see yet myself. But I saw it this year. And I finally understood. We absolutely and without a doubt are the stories we tell ourselves. If we deem ourselves weak, weak shall we be. If we consider ourselves noble, noble shall we become. This quote by Bernard Shaw says it all.
And finally...I love the Holy Land. Not so much a lesson learned as a feeling amplified. My first year here has been wonderful, indeed.
Time always seems to fly. I perpetually find myself thinking, "really, over already?" And I was warned that time here seemed to move at a different rhythm, a faster tempo.
But, I have to say, for me it was both. Sometimes I think back to my life before I came, who I was, my habits, and I feel like two different, very distinct, people. So, here are some reflections from time here. Things I've learned.
1) Simple is grand. Change happens gradually. Sometimes we expect these huge, cataclysmic things to happen to effect change. Sometimes that's what it takes. But I think, for the most part, it starts with something small. Small but consistent. A break from old patterns. As my good friend Ryann pointed out to me recently, sometimes all it takes is one small change in behavior to break out of patterns we've had our entire lives.
2) Riding camels is less fun than it looks--and I don't even think it looks that fun! Unbelievably boring, actually, once you get over the initial 30 second high from trying something different.3) The Dead Sea feels like a giant pool of baby oil.
4) The source of all good is trust in God. This is the first line in the Tablet of Wisdom. I don't think I ever really understood it until I came here. I still don't fully get it. But I'm walking the path. I was meditating over what I thought my biggest test has been while I've been here--my area of greatest weakness. Several candidates. Detachment, for sure. True humility. Discipline. Courage. Courage sitting atop this list. But I realized the one that trumped them all was trust in God. I've often used the excuse that "I trust Him, I just don't trust myself." But I realize it's just that, an excuse. If I really trusted Him, I would let go of my own fears and insecurities and trust that His will would prevail, and the outcome would be the right one, even if not the one I anticipated. And if I had more trust in God, I would have the courage I often lack. Detachment from my own feeble plans and ideas.
5) My family is amazing. I always knew this but I know it even more now. My sister and parents have supported me so much, have been so close to me though thousands of miles away, have encouraged me, not judged me, even when they might have made different decisions in certain situations, and have been my rock through some of the more trying times. My family is...amazing.
6) I would be lost without my friends. If trust in God was the number one thing I learned, true friendship was the second. What it means to have true friends and what it means to be one. I could write tomes on each of my friends, and what makes them special, selfless, and gem-like. I will instead say simply, thank you. You know why. The many many many reasons why.7) Life is good. Life is hard but life is good.
8) I think more clearly outside, in nature.
9) I connect more deeply to God and my spiritual self when I'm singing sacred verses. That's when I feel it the most:)
10) We are the stories we tell. I've heard it so many times. My mentor teacher would repeat this sentence to me all the time. I guess she saw something, a weakness in me, I didn't see yet myself. But I saw it this year. And I finally understood. We absolutely and without a doubt are the stories we tell ourselves. If we deem ourselves weak, weak shall we be. If we consider ourselves noble, noble shall we become. This quote by Bernard Shaw says it all.
And finally...I love the Holy Land. Not so much a lesson learned as a feeling amplified. My first year here has been wonderful, indeed.
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