Amplify meet Amplified

Yesterday I was eating lunch with my friend Joe and we were talking about how when you dwell on the faults of others, your own become so much more magnified.   For instance, if you point out someone else's flaws to another, the natural reaction of that person will be to wonder if you're being a hypocrite by pointing out something that you yourelf do.  And, often, the things we critique in others are the very things we like least about ourselves. Baha'u'llah says:

O COMPANION OF MY THRONE!
Hear no evil, and see no evil, abase not thyself, neither sigh and weep. Speak no evil, that thou mayest not hear it spoken unto thee, and magnify not the faults of others that thine own faults may not appear great; and wish not the abasement of anyone, that thine own abasement be not exposed. Live then the days of thy life, that are less than a fleeting moment, with thy mind stainless, thy heart unsullied, thy thoughts pure, and thy nature sanctified, so that, free and content, thou mayest put away this mortal frame, and repair unto the mystic paradise and abide in the eternal kingdom for evermore.

In other parts of His writings, He uses some of the most stern language I've ever read to describe the effects that speaking harshly about another have upon our own souls. Backbiting is considered one of the most grievous sins in the Baha'i Faith.

After lunch I was thinking about the whole thing a lot:  how by amplifying the flaws of others we really amplify our own, too.  Unfortunately, the negative effect is not limited to our own souls and others' perceptions of us.  We can truly damage the reputation of another.  I almost said, "whether or not they are blameworthy", but I had to stop myself, because who am I to assign blame.  In any situation, even that between just two people, it is impossible for us, from our limited perspective, to know every factor and be able to assess accurately whether or not someone is "blameworthy." 

That is not to say that no one commits wrongdoings, and that those should be overlooked; however, not every person on the planet needs to be alerted to the fact that your boyfriend cheated on you, or that your girlfriend is way too possessive.  Sometimes those situations are the trickiest ones.  Not to get all confessional here because that, too (confession of sins), is forbidden in the Faith, but, I know it's hard for me sometimes to draw the line between disclosing details about my personal life that involve others in the interest of "seeking advice"--and in so doing, sharing personal things about someone else that should just stay between us. It's definitely worth analyzing how important it is to share certain facts, and if so, we must be very very discerning regarding who we share them with.  Definitely something to be vigilant about.  Baha'u'llah says that the essence of wisdom is silence.  As always, He is so right.

Anyway, more often than not, the things we criticize are minor, and we simply make much bigger deals out of them than are inherently there to begin with.

Backbiting, gossip...it's a poison that can infect the reputation of another human being, often irreversibly.  It is hard to think of many things that would be worse than that.

Yet how easily and thoughtlessly we do it.