The Fairy Tale
So a couple of days ago I was emailing a friend of mine about random things, we were joking about me setting him up with a friend of mine, and then the following e-mail exchange transpired. He raised a really interesting/cool point at the end, so I thought I'd share. I have, of course, altered his name (though it would be cool if I were friends with a guy named John Doe), and his home state. Everything else is verbatim.
From: John Doe
Sent: Sunday, June 08, 2008 9:33 AM
To: N. K.
i wonder what it feels like.... to be the person at a wedding responsible for getting the bride and groom together.... i'll bet its a bittersweet thing... or maybe just sweet.
thinking out loud here :S
From: N. K.
Sent: Sunday, June 08, 2008 9:34 AM
To: John Doe
Why do you think it would be bittersweet? Am curious about this particular train of thought..
From: John Doe
Sent: Sunday, June 08, 2008 9:39 AM
To: N. K.
my sister introduced my brother to his wife. she had the future sister in law fly with her from pennsylvania to california to meet him, and it miraculously worked. its always struck me as strange that the initiative of an individual could so drastically alter the lives of others in that way. maybe bittersweet is the wrong word. but, having had a hand in it - i would think that would give the wedding a sense of weightiness, that might otherwise be absent...?
maybe not.
i'm am sure that you'd feel different than everyone else at the wedding. :) and it would probably be a good feeling...
From: N. K.
Sent: Sunday, June 08, 2008 9:44 AM
To: John Doe
Ahhh I totally understand what you mean by the weightiness involved. I could see how there might also be that teeny tiny bit of fear that if it didn’t work out, you had a hand in bringing them together. But I guess also at that point—the wedding—you’d figure, “okay, so they were right for each other” and everything else is now in their hands. This is completely tangential, by the way, but since we’re sort of on the topic—I was thinking how probably most couples who get divorced aren’t wrong for each other, and maybe were never wrong for each other from the start (that might be a small pool of people who are actually ill-suited to one another from the word go) but just don’t work hard enough at the relationship. Although those odds-- “right”, “wrong” (maybe “well-suited” is a better word)-- might be shifting these days as people treat marriage frivolously from start to finish..aka don’t take the necessary amount of time to know each other’s character and then see how suited they really are, one for the other.
Random thoughts, I’m having.
From: John Doe
Sent: Sunday, June 08, 200810:14 AM
To: N. K.
i agree - think right and wrong are silly concepts. we are a generation of abundant opportunity and limitless options. and because of it we have become crippled in choice making. from the smallest to the largest in consequence... Where to eat lunch<<<<<>>>>>Whom to marry. maybe deciding where to go to school is somewhere in the middle.
i think the bottom line is (i read an article or watched a report, or something, about this recently) - we are a generation of kids who received trophys just for participating and were constantly told we were special, so we feel entitled to the very best life has to offer just for having shown up. So we're unwilling to settle for anything less than a fairy tale...
From: John Doe
Sent: Sunday, June 08, 2008 9:33 AM
To: N. K.
i wonder what it feels like.... to be the person at a wedding responsible for getting the bride and groom together.... i'll bet its a bittersweet thing... or maybe just sweet.
thinking out loud here :S
From: N. K.
Sent: Sunday, June 08, 2008 9:34 AM
To: John Doe
Why do you think it would be bittersweet? Am curious about this particular train of thought..
From: John Doe
Sent: Sunday, June 08, 2008 9:39 AM
To: N. K.
my sister introduced my brother to his wife. she had the future sister in law fly with her from pennsylvania to california to meet him, and it miraculously worked. its always struck me as strange that the initiative of an individual could so drastically alter the lives of others in that way. maybe bittersweet is the wrong word. but, having had a hand in it - i would think that would give the wedding a sense of weightiness, that might otherwise be absent...?
maybe not.
i'm am sure that you'd feel different than everyone else at the wedding. :) and it would probably be a good feeling...
From: N. K.
Sent: Sunday, June 08, 2008 9:44 AM
To: John Doe
Ahhh I totally understand what you mean by the weightiness involved. I could see how there might also be that teeny tiny bit of fear that if it didn’t work out, you had a hand in bringing them together. But I guess also at that point—the wedding—you’d figure, “okay, so they were right for each other” and everything else is now in their hands. This is completely tangential, by the way, but since we’re sort of on the topic—I was thinking how probably most couples who get divorced aren’t wrong for each other, and maybe were never wrong for each other from the start (that might be a small pool of people who are actually ill-suited to one another from the word go) but just don’t work hard enough at the relationship. Although those odds-- “right”, “wrong” (maybe “well-suited” is a better word)-- might be shifting these days as people treat marriage frivolously from start to finish..aka don’t take the necessary amount of time to know each other’s character and then see how suited they really are, one for the other.
Random thoughts, I’m having.
From: John Doe
Sent: Sunday, June 08, 200810:14 AM
To: N. K.
i agree - think right and wrong are silly concepts. we are a generation of abundant opportunity and limitless options. and because of it we have become crippled in choice making. from the smallest to the largest in consequence... Where to eat lunch<<<<<>>>>>Whom to marry. maybe deciding where to go to school is somewhere in the middle.
i think the bottom line is (i read an article or watched a report, or something, about this recently) - we are a generation of kids who received trophys just for participating and were constantly told we were special, so we feel entitled to the very best life has to offer just for having shown up. So we're unwilling to settle for anything less than a fairy tale...
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