This is your life.

So my previous post was a little dark [apologies].  The misgiving did actually manifest itself in reality but I think was more prepared to deal with it than I thought and all is well.  That's it for updates.

Now, for cliches.

This is just a simple one liner and I know that we all know this, but someone offered this to me as advice a few months ago, and round and round it spins in my mind, helping me to ground myself when I am inclined to deviate.

Let me explain.

I was asking several months ago, someone i trust a lot, for advice regarding a particular situation in which I knew what would guarantee the outcome I wanted, but involved me behaving in a way I didn't necessarily think was "right".  It wasn't wrong either, but it wasn't the most noble way to go about things.

So I said.  "I know how I want to go about it, but I also know that the absolutely best way to do it, in this situation, is also the one that hardly ever works.  Do you think I should compromise a little bit and do it the way that I know works?"  (This would all make so much more sense if I could explain the situation, which I cant, and I fear it's all sounding shadier and more untoward than it actually is.)

She looked at me thoughtfully and said, after a long pause, "I think you should be the person you want to be."

That was all she said.

And that was all she needed to say.

Be the person you want to be.  Do i want to be the person who compromises, even a little bit, to get an outcome, or do I want to be the person who's willing to get hurt, perhaps over and over again, because I uphold values that I cherish?

At the end of the day, all we have in this life is our character.  Maybe that's not something worth compromising, no matter what the prize.  Of course, this doesnt mean I havent faltered.  I continually do.  But round and round in my head "Be the person you want to be."  I'm trying.

Finally, some of my favorite lyrics from one of my favorite groups:

Don’t close your eyes
This is your life, are you who you want to be
This is your life, are you who you want to be
This is your life, is it everything you dreamed that it would be
When the world was younger and you had everything to lose

-Switchfoot

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