Note to self: grow up...
So, I had a really interesting night/morning/afternoon.
Last week I got really sick with an atrocious 48 hour stomach virus which had me out of commission for three days...And three days with no cable, no family, all your friends at work, no energy to read, means that I spent 72 hours pondering life's biggest mysteries. Yeah, not really. It means I spent 72 hours fluctuating between thanking God for my usual state of health (nothing like illness to help you appreciate the really important things in life) and feeling miserable/like I wanted to die. You know how when you're sad/out of it all of a sudden nothing in your life seems to make sense? That's how I felt, too.
Once I made a full recovery all the questions I'd been asking myself during the 'misery' stages lingered... but then this afternoon a good friend of mine sat me down for a little chat/catch up about different things, and in the course of our conversation I realized the main source of my angst was something I was blowing out of proportion and that I really just needed to grow up about, AND, as the afternoon proceeded (and continues to proceed) I felt so immature and childish for feeling upset about anything.
My professor, the amazing Angela Breidenstein, once told me that in her experience, the people who complain the most in this life are the ones who have the least to complain about. And that has always stuck with me. I've been trying to lessen the amount of complaining I do in my own life, but even complaining to oneself is or can be unhealthy. Why bother dwelling on those things anyway? Especially if we can fix them but aren't making the effort to! And if they're things we can't fix, there's even less reason to complain because the situations won't change, and we're just going to feel miserable in the process. So, really, no more excuses, no more complaining. That's the goal for this Gregorian year.
"We ought to show something greater than forgiveness in meeting the cruelties and strictures in our lives. To be hurt and forgive is saintly but far beyond this is the power to comprehend and not be hurt. This power we may have...acceptance without complaint and it should be associated with our name. We ought never to be known to complain or lament. It is not that we would 'make the best of things,' but that we may find in everything, even in calamity, the gems of enduring wisdom. We ought never be impatient. We ought to be as incapable of impatience as one would be of revolt. This not being so much long-suffering as quiet awareness of the forces that operate in the hours of dark or years of waiting and inactivity. Always we ought to move with the larger rhythm, the wider sweep, towards our ultimate goal, in that complete acquiescence, that perfect chord which underlies the spirit of the faith itself." -- Bahiyyih Khanum
Last week I got really sick with an atrocious 48 hour stomach virus which had me out of commission for three days...And three days with no cable, no family, all your friends at work, no energy to read, means that I spent 72 hours pondering life's biggest mysteries. Yeah, not really. It means I spent 72 hours fluctuating between thanking God for my usual state of health (nothing like illness to help you appreciate the really important things in life) and feeling miserable/like I wanted to die. You know how when you're sad/out of it all of a sudden nothing in your life seems to make sense? That's how I felt, too.
Once I made a full recovery all the questions I'd been asking myself during the 'misery' stages lingered... but then this afternoon a good friend of mine sat me down for a little chat/catch up about different things, and in the course of our conversation I realized the main source of my angst was something I was blowing out of proportion and that I really just needed to grow up about, AND, as the afternoon proceeded (and continues to proceed) I felt so immature and childish for feeling upset about anything.
My professor, the amazing Angela Breidenstein, once told me that in her experience, the people who complain the most in this life are the ones who have the least to complain about. And that has always stuck with me. I've been trying to lessen the amount of complaining I do in my own life, but even complaining to oneself is or can be unhealthy. Why bother dwelling on those things anyway? Especially if we can fix them but aren't making the effort to! And if they're things we can't fix, there's even less reason to complain because the situations won't change, and we're just going to feel miserable in the process. So, really, no more excuses, no more complaining. That's the goal for this Gregorian year.
"We ought to show something greater than forgiveness in meeting the cruelties and strictures in our lives. To be hurt and forgive is saintly but far beyond this is the power to comprehend and not be hurt. This power we may have...acceptance without complaint and it should be associated with our name. We ought never to be known to complain or lament. It is not that we would 'make the best of things,' but that we may find in everything, even in calamity, the gems of enduring wisdom. We ought never be impatient. We ought to be as incapable of impatience as one would be of revolt. This not being so much long-suffering as quiet awareness of the forces that operate in the hours of dark or years of waiting and inactivity. Always we ought to move with the larger rhythm, the wider sweep, towards our ultimate goal, in that complete acquiescence, that perfect chord which underlies the spirit of the faith itself." -- Bahiyyih Khanum
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