The L.O.V.E. edition
I thought I would avoid the ultimate cliche of blogging about it on Valentines Day...So this entry comes four days too soon.
This weekend my flatmates and I had a heated little debate about what was worse, a break up, or flat out rejection. Two of us arguing that rejection is absolutely worse because not only do you feel the pain of not being with the person, you feel completely miserable about yourself. Two of us arguing that a break up is worse because you MISS the person so much, and failed at something.
Personally, I think rejection is worse in a long-term sort of way. The pain of a break up is more immediate, and more intense- I do believe this- but the pain of a rejection sort of eats away at you, at your security in yourself, and your self esteem. At least in a break up you have the comfort of knowing that at one point, the person felt the same, and things happened that perhaps changed it, but it's unlikely that it was entirely your fault. A rejection...what else can you blame it on but your own unappealingness to the person? Maybe it's not as simple as that, but, that's how it feels, and any other excuse you may make is ultimately just that. Grasping at air.
My flatmate sent me an email this morning with the following video link, and basically the explanation that maybe both pains aren't that different after all:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tzq3srbYEUY
I've also been thinking about how we place so much emphasis on romantic love, and even though it's probably the most exhilirating and fun kind, it isn't the only fulfilling or valid kind.
Just this morning, I got a package from my wonderful Jennifer Chun, a sweet serenade of music and a beautiful card- and I was reminded of the gems that have so bountifully been poured in my path. I have, and have always had, the most wonderful friends. Thoughtful, loving, funny, generous beyond belief...simply outstanding. And they're always there, always know what to say, always know when to just listen. I could not be more thankful for my friends.
This weekend, we had some seminars about marriage and family life, and they were like a soothing balm to my heart and soul. It was so wonderful to listen to these mature, wise couples offering their advice, based on experience and the Writings, about marriage and relationships, and I think the thing I got away from it the most was this idea of perspective. Seeing the bigger picture. Where I am now in relation to where I need to be to actually be ready to be someone's wife, someone's mother. But, also, the steps I can take to make sure that I am the best human being possible, because who I am as a person will greatly determine who I am as a wife, as a mother.
I also really believe in seeing the end in the beginning. Trusting in God's will and trusting in my own actions, if they are taken following prayer, meditation, are in line with my beliefs, and are also practical.
One of the couples kept stressing that it shouldn't be so complicated. That maybe you walk the path of service, with your thoughts focused on that, and then you look up and see that someone else is walking that path with you. And you agree to walk it together. I really loved that idea.
Finally, I leave you with a few words from 'Abdu'l-Baha on true union:
"O ye two believers in God! The Lord, peerless is He, hath made woman and man to abide with each other in the closest companionship, and to be even as a single soul. They are two helpmates, two intimate friends, who should be concerned about the welfare of each other. If they live thus, they will pass through this world with perfect contentment, bliss, and peace of heart, and become the object of divine grace and favour in the Kingdom of heaven. But if they do other than this, they will live out their lives in great bitterness, longing at every moment for death, and will be shamefaced in the heavenly realm. Strive, then, to abide, heart and soul, with each other as two doves in the nest, for this is to be blessed in both worlds."
This weekend my flatmates and I had a heated little debate about what was worse, a break up, or flat out rejection. Two of us arguing that rejection is absolutely worse because not only do you feel the pain of not being with the person, you feel completely miserable about yourself. Two of us arguing that a break up is worse because you MISS the person so much, and failed at something.
Personally, I think rejection is worse in a long-term sort of way. The pain of a break up is more immediate, and more intense- I do believe this- but the pain of a rejection sort of eats away at you, at your security in yourself, and your self esteem. At least in a break up you have the comfort of knowing that at one point, the person felt the same, and things happened that perhaps changed it, but it's unlikely that it was entirely your fault. A rejection...what else can you blame it on but your own unappealingness to the person? Maybe it's not as simple as that, but, that's how it feels, and any other excuse you may make is ultimately just that. Grasping at air.
My flatmate sent me an email this morning with the following video link, and basically the explanation that maybe both pains aren't that different after all:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=tzq3srbYEUY
I've also been thinking about how we place so much emphasis on romantic love, and even though it's probably the most exhilirating and fun kind, it isn't the only fulfilling or valid kind.
Just this morning, I got a package from my wonderful Jennifer Chun, a sweet serenade of music and a beautiful card- and I was reminded of the gems that have so bountifully been poured in my path. I have, and have always had, the most wonderful friends. Thoughtful, loving, funny, generous beyond belief...simply outstanding. And they're always there, always know what to say, always know when to just listen. I could not be more thankful for my friends.
This weekend, we had some seminars about marriage and family life, and they were like a soothing balm to my heart and soul. It was so wonderful to listen to these mature, wise couples offering their advice, based on experience and the Writings, about marriage and relationships, and I think the thing I got away from it the most was this idea of perspective. Seeing the bigger picture. Where I am now in relation to where I need to be to actually be ready to be someone's wife, someone's mother. But, also, the steps I can take to make sure that I am the best human being possible, because who I am as a person will greatly determine who I am as a wife, as a mother.
I also really believe in seeing the end in the beginning. Trusting in God's will and trusting in my own actions, if they are taken following prayer, meditation, are in line with my beliefs, and are also practical.
One of the couples kept stressing that it shouldn't be so complicated. That maybe you walk the path of service, with your thoughts focused on that, and then you look up and see that someone else is walking that path with you. And you agree to walk it together. I really loved that idea.
Finally, I leave you with a few words from 'Abdu'l-Baha on true union:
"O ye two believers in God! The Lord, peerless is He, hath made woman and man to abide with each other in the closest companionship, and to be even as a single soul. They are two helpmates, two intimate friends, who should be concerned about the welfare of each other. If they live thus, they will pass through this world with perfect contentment, bliss, and peace of heart, and become the object of divine grace and favour in the Kingdom of heaven. But if they do other than this, they will live out their lives in great bitterness, longing at every moment for death, and will be shamefaced in the heavenly realm. Strive, then, to abide, heart and soul, with each other as two doves in the nest, for this is to be blessed in both worlds."
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